Monday, March 26, 2007
It's getting quite annoying, now that blogger merged with google and i have to friggin login everytime i want to blog even though i ticked the "remember me"
Then i think i may want to switch to livejournal hmm.
I just realised this social conditioning thats inherent in the world is the root of all decadence!
If Sg wants more leaders in the fields, they ought to place a lot more emphasis on developing moral character and going for your passion, trusting your own abilities. Basically personal development. That way, we can cut out the boring crap early, focus on what we really want to do, which leads to no bother for anyone because we will do it ourselves
Also, we get to lead real lives. I think everyone's too fucking afraid to do this, to do that. They talk about being "realistic", but in truth they are talking about remaining seated in a safe and secure 9-to-5 routine job where they risk nothing to gain nothing. And its not their fault, its society's fault. Inherently though, the inclination to follow the crowd, the herd mentality within us, also plays a part.
All these years of social conditioning have led to a stiff wall, a resistance to our ideals. What we need to do is to gain the courage to oppose this social conditioning and slowly but surely, weaken this resistance. It will keep coming back, it will keep affirming itself, but as long as you stick toyour courage, it will eventually fade away.
For me, i can feel the dreaded social conditioning dissipating but its still there. I need people around me to have the same beliefs as me to keep reinforcing what i want to keep. Last year, when i hear my classmates talking about what "department" they want to be in life, i thought that was a perfectly fine discussion. Now i just feel sick and disgusted by it, sick that they seem to be talking about working for a living, living for the sake of living.
Oh and we should all learn the art of patience. I got quite frustrated at the lack of results over some of my intention-manifestations as well as lucid dreaming attempts, but i pondered over it and realised i didn't become the footballer i am by reading football books and practicing for 2 weeks. I built it up gradually through playing. My left foot didn't improve overnight, i practiced passing with it for hours and hours, before i built it to my satisfaction in terms of passing My shooting technique is still quite horrific, even for my right foot, but i know i can use practice to push it up to fierce levels.
in fact, i was quite irritated at the seeming lack of improvement in my left foot, until one day when i realised i was quite comfortable with using it, and quite accurate too (:
Today was not a good day of football play because i forgot to relax and clear my mind before playing. Siquan was kind of off-form i think, i wasn't playing well, and it was just frustrating trying to find a pass to play when your teamates aren't moving into space. I felt very frustrated and annoyed by siquan, although it probably is no fault of his.
In my view, i kept seeing him chase down loose balls which ought to have been his but somehow, when he got near the ball he relaxed, allowing the opposition to gain control of it or nick it away into another position. It just reeked of very poor determination or something. Then there were other times where he had possession of the ball and ought to have kept it, but gave it away or took too much time giving it to the keeper, but thats possibly me trying to find fault with him.
Then he talked about ripping off the keeper i already got to my team in place of harry which is quite horribly mean. Then when we got a hcis player to help us play keeper, when the keeper asked if he could try his hand at playing outfield, i think i heard him saying something rather rude and mean, meaning to turn him down. I didn't hear clearly though, so its likely he was joking.
but of course, i could be completely wrong and just pushing my frustration on him. I was frustrated at my team, at myself, at what was going on. But when i got home i trained for an hour focusing on dribbling and felt quiite satisfied because i felt an improvement in my hocuspocus and the switchcut move.
mm We must raise our moral standards!
silverletal [Simple and Clean] 6:59 AM
