Sunday, December 31, 2006
I think i know why i like football so much.
Whenever michael owen scores, the smile on his face is so honest, so sincere. So genuine, and that, is a beautiful thing.
Its inevitable that as we grow older, we get corrupted by influences, and suddenlt lust and desire just flicks on. I'm disgusted by the idea of lust, i just think flirting is so very...uncool, just not something i want to be seen doing.
So...it might seem impossible, but i'm already trying to rid myself of lust. That is one step in becoming the person i want to be. A beautiful face is something to admire. Its only when girls flaunt their legs by wearing short pants that i feel the lust in me.
When i find people staring at that, i feel disgusted, even more so because i feel that myself. So, i'm going to stop myself from feeling thoughts of lust, i don't want to be a slave of temptation. I want to be in full control of what i feel, i wavt to be the person who punches people awake when they're drunk and their lust overwhelms their own control of their actions.
Again, it might not be possible, but i never know till i try. Actually since monks can do it, why can't I?
Won't it be great if i manage to do that. My wifey and I would both be happy, i can have the right to sneer at people who stare lustily at girls. Oh boy, that is GREAT!
Oh...and the girl i liked, i decided if i told her and asked her about it, if she said no, i would stop hoping she likes me, and take that burden off me, and if she did like me then thats great. So i did, and got the "no" reply.
Hmm, i'm not lying when i say i didn't feel any extreme feelings of sadness or despair. I just felt a tinge of disappointment, because obviously the god of letal does not delude himself. now I can try my best to brainwash myself not to like her. Oh, and i think i had this thing called Limerence, something in the middle of infatuation and love.
Does this seem very machine----------like? Hmm...what the fuck
silverletal [Simple and Clean] 5:53 AM
Saturday, December 23, 2006
To Minister of Education, Mr. Tharman Shanmugaratnam
To start off, i'd like to say that as much as i will try to be formal and polite, i'd think you and I would prefer reading something that isn't forced out. To properly show what i mean, i have to write it in a manner that is comfortable to me, but to show respect for you, i'd have to make an attempt to be polite as well.
Anyway, the thing i want to talk about is about how i feel there's an immense lack of focus on moral education, differentiating what's good what's bad, moral fibre, moral courage, consideration for others, for other races, for the environment. I know that there are some forms of "Civics and Moral Education" or other variants in our schools, but these only comprise merely of a few hours, or even less a week.
There seems to be a lot, a lot, more focus on educating the students on science, logic, mathematics, etc, i don't know what to call it besides "academic" education, and i'm sure thats the way it is all around the world. The government wants their citizens to be more competitive in the economy, naturally they would put much moe focus on the "academics" than the "morals"
But surely, what makes the world worth living should be based on morals rather than academics! Science and logic are neither good or bad, which means they can be used for good or bad purposes. Cloning might help a person transplant an organ for himself, but cloning can also be used to take over another person's identity for financial...or whatever benefits. Where there's nuclear power, there's nuclear bombs.
Detectives use logic to pin down criminals, but criminals can use logic to escape detectives. Hell, even medical cures or therapies, seemingly researched for the benefit of mankind, are sometimes harmful, researched simply for financial benefits. I draw this conclusion from two sources, first being a website detailing the fight of ozone therapies to be used to treat Aids.
The article states how ozone therapies are ignored, because other "cures" or "therapies" for aids are simply much more profitable. I had an inclination to believe in it, because the writer of the article didn't have any reason to push for ozone therapies besides the benefit of mankind, and exposing the ugly side of the medical industry. It goes on further, and i would love to link the website to you but somehow its gone down. Neverheless, i did copy-paste it on my blog, so i can refer to it, and i'm only too happy to provide you with it if you request for it.
What is clearly shown here, is how science and logic can easily be manipulated for nasty reasons, under a facade of goodness. Science doesn't run the world, morals do.
The other source is when i was trying to get my myopia down, and i read...about minus lenses. I always had a theory i thought up myself that spectacles ake your eyes accomodated to myopia, hence when you continue doing closework, further myopia is developed, you get used to the glasses, even further myopia is developed, and so on.
Reading those websites confirmed what i always thought, and thistime, i can refer you to one of the better ones, www.myopia.org . Because of money. the whatever industry in charge of eyecare does not acknowledge the harm of these "minus glasses", which treeats the symptons, but not the cause. And in fact, worsens the problem.
I confirm these facts by asking the people around me, and then i know, what they say is true. I suppose it takes people with guts, people with moral courage and fibre to stand up and speak up. This is what we should inculcate in the people of Singapore, as well!
If we could develop moral courage, the ability to "Say No" to drugs would come naturally. It will be easy to say no to smoking, alcohol, or any other hamrful vices. There will be no space for bullies, since everyone dares to stand up against the bully. It is the people who dare to speak up for what they believe in that are remembered. It is these people who can change the way the world works. Ghandi, Martin Luther King, i'm sure there are plenty of other examples.
Many seem to feel the Government is trying to "stifle" the public from expressing any views contrary to theirs. People who may want to speak up, dare not, because they lack the moral courage and dare not face the implications. It is the same principle.
The ban on chewing gum is a classic example of treating the symptons but not the cause. Once we educate the youths about being considerate, so many goshdarned problems would be solved. There's no need to put ridiculous fines for people who don't flush the toilet! Educating their morals, is what makes the differenve between a person who litters, a person who doesn't, and a person who voluntarily picks it up.
I make sure i do what i preach, i try to pick up one or two empty bottles if i see them lying about, and make sure i do not litter as well. But i can't be expected to pick up every single bit of rubbish i see. It's about encouraging everyone to stand up for who they care for and what they believe in. There's no use nurturing great "leaders" in science who lead the Top 50 richest. We want people who make mankind's life for the better.
If we start pushing forward our education more on morals than on academics, i honestly believe we can continue thriving. Sure, perhaps our students might learn academically at a slower pace, but there will be harmony in the office, there will be less stress in everybody's life. There will be much less "office politics" going on, if we succeed in truly "morally-educating" the people of singapore. People overseas will be more willing to work with us, and that, i believe, far outstrips the slower pace of academic learning.
Governments everywhere only care about making the lives of their people better. "Better" in the sense of what? Economically? A life of luxury and comfort? While that is nice, i believe a place where everyone is nice to each other...a place like heaven would mean a far higher quality of life. But its a sort of gamble, it's something that may or may not work out. But if we don't try, we'll never know.
How to go on about this? We should start really young, and focus a lot more, maybe even half the lesson time, from kindergarden up till maybe primary 3? It's a whole lot more easier to convince and instill morals at a young age. To inspire teenagers, to change them, its not impossible. But you need teachers who know them, who understand them, and these teachers don't come easy.
There's no need to try instilling a "hip, youthful" image. All you need is an honest, straightforward campaign, asking whether we want to work for a better Singapore. There will be those who step forward and give things a shot, then people who, have the inclination but didn't have the courage to do those things, can see that other people are doing it. And they will too take the initiative.
I think a minister, not formally addressing anyone, jusd going on tv and talking, asking to those watching to step forward and make a difference would make a refreshing, sincere change to other commercial advertisements which try to entertain.
And if we fail, at least we tried, we can keep going, and know in our hearts that we did what we could, to change the world to what it wanted to be.
Thanks for reading,
silverletal [Simple and Clean] 3:42 AM
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Scraping this mud
Trudging through sludge
Looks like chocolate fudge
But i know it ain't suchh
silverletal [Simple and Clean] 6:36 AM
Monday, December 18, 2006
If you don't make noise, who gives a fuck about you
If you simply shut up, who's going to know what your problem is
Sometimes people think its better to suffer in silence. That's the people who get ignored,. They make excuses, some wifes going "oh, he's nly like that because he's drunk", some friends going 'i'm trying to be nice, i don;t want to ignite pointless arguments". Some people actually think that by keeping quiet, their troubles are going to be solved.
SO let me just say...NO its not going to be solved. Nothing is solved if you do nothing. Don't assume people will come looking at you, thinking they have done an injustice to you. They assume everything is going to happen the way they think. That if they continue keeping faith with their husbands, forgiving them time and time again, their husbands will actually change.
If you don't try a new change in your life, a ne wway to talk, a new way to face what you deem to be injustices, its no wonder you never know what people will actually do. All you end up doing is wallowing in your selfpity/anguish/shit
What am i like? I'm the kind of guy who thinks that if a oerson doesn't want to stand up for himself, he shouldn't cry about how mistreated he is. If the wife wants to continue submitting to her wifewhackng husband, she shouldn't blame anyone but herself.
I think Singaporeans are very pragmatic. I'm probably the few exceptions, who dares to dream and realise the dream of playing for liverpool. If you don't dare to think about it, that's alright to me.. I just don't want to cry and look back and cry more, and again, when i find out and regret that i didn't even try.
When i go into everygame, i want to win. I'm a bad loser, but hey, losing is fine. What matters is how i lose, and how people react to losing. If i lose, i want to lose because the opponents are good. I don't want to lose because of my own stupidity. What annoys me the most is how people react to losing. I feel so fucking utterly annoyed when people actually laugh or find it funny at getting raped over a game. Yes a game, but there's pride in everything. The bullshit that games are just games, i recognize that., but its a different matter when you find gettng humiliated unny.
I can't imagine any person playing soccer and getting whacked 10-0, having the cheek to laugh at their own defeat. I dislike losing, i hate losing in a dumb way, i fucking hate it when people treat utter defeat lightly.
You know what else i hate? I hate people who think they know-it-all. When i see people doing dumb things, i feel a huge urge to scream and curse in vulgaritis, but i do my best to keep it under control. As my frustration mounts, i inevitably let off a few curses, but ones which contain no namecalling or shit. Oh, and my curses simply go omg, do this! omg common sense please!
Now that is harsh? I don't understand why people can't just admit they suck or explain why they sucked. Instead they choose the ridicuous solution of keeping quiet, storing up all their self-righteouness, and then pouring it out in the hopes that someone wil agree and sympathize and give them a pat on their backs.
Again, people who pretend to know-it-all, come up with their own conclusions about what i am like. I dislike losing, but i'm my mind and heart are not overruled by the thought of winning. I don't curse and scream because i;m not winning, I scream and curse because of the way i'm NOT WINNING. It's not the result, its the process. I'd rather have a tightly-fought loss than an easy walkover win.
I'd feel bad if i hurt a friend, i'm willing to say sorry. But hey, if people want to act like they're fine with my abuse, i won't know if they're hurt. Despite their best attempts at trying to be nice, no one is going to notice it because it absolutely does shit except show the fact that you;re willing to accept abuse.
If you're not good enough, don't try to know who iam.
silverletal [Simple and Clean] 6:08 AM
Thursday, December 14, 2006
I think we drew with St Andrew's 2-2, but i'm thinking we could have won the damn thing. We played much better at durnearn, more chances created, but somehow this time our attacks were stuck in the midfield. In the air, my heading is raaaaawful, i hardly try because i'm so uncomfortable with heading. On the ground, i think i did excellent. It's quite irritating that i need to wait for 5 to 10 minutes of the game to pass before i can settle into it.
Mr Tok taught me something really useful today, he said something like when i dribbled, my mind is focussed on getting a pass onto only one player, hence i miss out on other players. I can look up fairly often when i dribble at speed, but mr tok's words made me realise i didn't make full use of it. Kay will do that next time.
Need to train my heading and jumping, get more comfortable to it. I AM willing to put my head in, but i can't direct it. I keep closing my eyes, which is BURN!-ingbad. After playing winger last week and switching back to leftback, i realised its sooo much less tiring playing as leftback D=.
And what the fuck, Aran's a crappy captain, he's the best player on the team but his only word of encouragement is a strained "COME ON!". I'm like come on, SHOUT LOUDER AND HARDER. Think, wincoln should be captain, but then wincoln juggles between track, volleyball and soccer so it doesn't seem right.
If i target to play for liverpool by 25, this means i have 9 and a half years left. Now i have to see what can push me to become exceptional. My biggest strength is my dribbling and ball control, second strength is maybe vision. I don't know what goes on in other people's minds, but when i suddenly cut in from the wing to the middle of the field, i always see a possible through ball to be played.
My short-range passing is quite good with my right foot, but nowhere near one-touch standard. My left foot, still very weak although i can dribble better and pass better with it. My heading sucks, its not that important for a winger but if im going to play as a fullback i need to strengthen it a lot.
When i try a few imaginary crosses against the terraces, i find i can cross decently with my right foot, but maybe its a lot different on the field. Never tried it though, since i've always played on the left for the HC team, and my left foot is rubbish at shooting or crossing.
Excluding my heading, my defending is quite...decent i think. I'm not impatient and can wait for the right opportunity to tackle, have a little bit of pace too. Can't clear well with my left foot though, sucks to that.
kkkk.shutup.nospiralization
silverletal [Simple and Clean] 4:22 AM