Monday, August 07, 2006
This might be controversial.
This might offend christians.
This is a warning.
I'm going to tell you how i view God.
You see, the Bible, the church, are the socalled evidence of God's existence. Supposedly, if you do not believe in God, you will not end up in Heaven, even if you were the most virtuous of people. Since one has nothing to lose, why not choose to believe it?
God helps you in all aspects of your life, God loves you, when you are down and out, God will be there, a shining beacon of light to carry you on his back, out of the valleys of Satan, of darkness and corruption.
"I pray for God to give my strength"God has strengthened me, made me strongerI can feel the love God has for meThese are common phrases of a christian. I have an acquaintance who's blog i visited several years back, crying about her life, praying for God to give her strength. She says she realises how she has forgotten God, abandoned him, but now realises her fault. Often, the thread of hope that God is there for her is the few traces of optimism in her blog.
A few days back, i stumbled upon her blog again. The same sentences repeated throughout her blog, she thanked God for giving her strength, yet the number of difficulties she faced, the hardships and obstacles she claimed to face in her life did not lessen.
I tagged this-
"Don't you think its ironic that, judging from the blogs, a non-believer of God seems to have a much better life than a believer of God."
The non-believer, is of course me. God does not seem to have made HER stronger, she seems to remain...as she is.
I do not believe in God because I have not felt a clear presence of him. Christians cling on their faith, when in truth, faith is but...blind belief? Because your parents, your childhood has inclined you to God, therefore you believe him. Replace God with, let's say Racism. Because your parents, your childhood has inclined you to racism, therefore you believe in it.
Perhaps Christians have felt God's presence and hence believed in it. I haven't, and i would rather suffer than believe blindly.
Sometimes during competitions, i feel this urge to pray to someone, to hope that a higher being can bless me to victory. But i always held back. I want to do well, knowing i did well because of my own abilities, not because God blessed me. I would admire a person who takes charge of his own life, than pray for God to help him change it.
Much of my morals are on the same wavelength as that of God. To do good, not fall prey to greed, glutton, envy. Those sins are tempting but i believe in my ability to keep away, and as much as possible refrain myself. I have felt jealous of people, but i constantly hold mysel back, and try to erase the jealousy.
Tragically, i cannot be in Heaven, not because i do not adhere to his teachings, not because i do bad in this world, but solely because i do not believe in him.
If God really loves every human, if he is what christians portray him to be, he would accept me, because i make the effort to be a better person, i try to be true to my conscience and self, he would understand that i do not believe in him. Rather than being drawn in by words of preachers, one should believe in God because he himself has experienced God.
Yes, one could convince himself that the good things that happen around him are the work of God, the bad things because of the sins he created. I choose to believe the good in my life are a result of my good, the bad because of the mistakes i made. I would admire a God who rewards those who strive for themselves, than rely on him to pull them through life. I would admire a God who respects a person's personal thoughts and beliefs, looking at the character of the person than whether he is a believer of himself.
Some cynical quotes that speak truth
-A cult is a religion with no political power
-Is God so in need of an egoboost that he needs millions of people worshipping him?
Instead of the superficial "why should i belive in god?", i choose to address what i think of God. If he exists, he should be someone who comes to you aid when you are in desperate aid, not someone you pray for help, and expect him to run in to save you from everything without you lifting a finger.
I do remember there was an incident where i had not enough money to buy a 1-way mrt card. I turned back and somehow found myself looking into the eyes of a man. He seemed to read my mind and asked,"Do you have enough?". I took a dollar and thanked him, truly grateful and appreciative. He nodded, patted me on the shoulder and said
God bless you.
silverletal [Simple and Clean] 5:34 AM
