Friday, February 09, 2007
It's hard to be the best, but legod says npnp!
I'm doing considerably decent for math, i can err understand the concepts most of the time, i can do most, if not all of the assignment questions myself and get a B at the minimum. I got an A1 for my recent math test, scraped it with a 30/40, but i made careless mistakes worth 4 pts.
There's no turning back now, sec 1 was the jump of doom, my algebra foundation was shaken, struggled like mad throughout the year , broke even in secondary 2. Started picking up the pieces in secondary 3, and this year there's NO FUCKING TURNING BACK LETAL IS THE BEST
Whoopsiedaisies i crashed my summary by er- doing a completely wrong passage so that's 20 marks gone and and andddddd 15 minutes wasted of which i could have used to complete and check my other answers, GG LETAL, but you're the best you can turn it around next term with an A1 np.
somehow people find this year a year of burning but i find it okay, not that bad, considering i plays footie till 6 and go home at 7. but with about an hour of work + some more during weekends, i get pass fine, i manage to listen in class by slapping myself considerably hard..sometimes.
on hindsight i thought i was just maybe above average in sec 2, now im confident that im at least one of the top 3 players. Let's see, Aran is somewhat better than me, that's all. I didn't do well at field in the previous match but hellllll i had a sprained right foot 25 minutes into the game. My timing of those high balls were awful and since i was a defender it was rather bad, but mehh the other aspects like not letting other players get past me, tackling, dribbling (with a sprained ankle on a bumpy pitch fux you), passing were all pretty decent.
wincoln was one of the top players but he hasn't played this year, heh so boo to him and yes to me. i've realised as long as ive got belief and confidence in my abilities i can play the ball well. Just being honest with myself and affirming this belief with myself, over and over.
i didn't think it was that bad, but i realised how relaxed the two people sitting beside me are. Michael isn't that bad, but benjamin's lack of awareness of this year's importance just astounds me. during chinese compo he stares at the sheet of paper, then goes to sleep for lets say 30 minutes, then tries to rush through it in the last 20 or so.
his math is pretty good, but getting 20/40 for a rather easy test just means that he didn't do any revision. If i didn't do revision i'd probably get a 10/40, but he's not bad at math, math counts for 2 Academic units, and he just fucks it all up. Man he's pretty messed up, he sleeps in plenty of lessons, get lots of shut-eye, doesn't do his work, doesn't do the ace worksheets teachers give us, oooh thats a lotta crap down there.
At this rate, he's going to suck at chinese, math, ihe, chemistry. IHC and Physics have ratherrrrrr simple concepts and you can't really deprove in english since we use it day to day, read it day to day. Oh wait, but i don't see him doing any ace, or having any projects so , what'd you know he's going to die.
I feel honestly, quite sad, at his unfulfilled potential. I have an urge to get him to get cracking. But i've been there, and it takes oneself to realise, and it takes oneself to pull himself out of the shithole he dug. Life's so much different when you have goals and dreams, when there's a purpose to it.
I encourage everyone to get and build one. Start thinking on it, and don't be daft and waste time on things you don't have much interest in. Don't commit yourself unnecessarily, don't take up things for the sake of taking it up. Whats the point of taking bio if you're struggling with math, physics and chemistry? All the certificates of achievement, great material for your portfolio, but who do you want to be?
Rather than being a jack-of-all-trades, its much easier and better to focus on what you like. I'm determined to carve a career out of football, and smash into the liverpool first team. Even if it sounds foolish, i don't want to spend my whole life regretting i didn't try. I believe that i have the talent, the determination, to get there, and if i don't, at least i've led a great 10 or 8 years driving towards what i love.
Here's my plan for my next 10 years; Focus on football, but be able to keep up with my studies as well. Games are good, but i recognize my own power in controlling my urges and addiction, I WILL STOP when i need to, and i will do what it takes to lead the life i desire. I feel real joy in seeing the results of my hardwork, my improvements in studies and footie.
I've managed not to give half a crap about looks as i used to. I'd like to look good, but hey, i want a fabulous girl that can understand me, can complement my personality, keep me excited about her, a girl satisfied with the few hours a week of companionship she might only get from me. And as much as all girls like goodlooking guys, fabulous girls i want won't care half as much as the others. And if there isn't one, no one deserves me, because i'm just the way i am.
I'm comfortable with myself, but i see so many ways to improve. Can i stick out and not tell the truth no matter the torture im put through, and do i have the moral courage to step out and help a person being beaten up by several others. It's all about being the person i desire to be, and taking steps, reprogramming my own mind, to become the character i desire.
And when i get what i desire, i become the perfection, the ultimate epitome, of legod.
silverletal [Simple and Clean] 9:18 AM
